Took a drive around the Neighborhood to look and see who had their lights on and what kind of decorations they had put out for the Neighbors to ‘ooh-and-ahh’ over. Boy, I got an eye full and I even took some pictures. Here they are:
…talking about these aspects of adoption is a yucky business, but if you don’t clean the wound it’s going to fester. And I can GUARANTEE you, if you maintain this attitude after adopting, you will do nothing but alienate the person you adopt.
a birth project
I heard someone say that when white parents adopt internationally it is because of “racism” and for many years white Americans adopting internationally adopted many more Asian and Latino children than African children. It seems reasonable to say that these choices reflect the existing racial hierarchy in this country. At the very least, it is certainly true some white parents choose not to adopt children of African descent because they do not feel capable of dealing with the racism they know these children will confront. I thought about that comment for quite a while, and after I sat with it for a bit, I realized that, yes, racism certainly can play a part in some parents’ decisions – but what kind of racism are we talking about?
He’s the only brother I’ve ever known.
Ethnically Incorrect Daughter
What happens to us is often the results of choices we make. Sometimes, it’s the result of choices others make. Sometimes, the course of our lives is the result of a combination of the two. Sometimes, our choices are based on the choices others make. Still, there are other times when life just happens and then we’re ultimately left with a choice. The options presented to us aren’t always ideal and sometimes we just make really bad decisions. The point is that in the end, it’s what we – and sometimes those connected to us – do that decides not necessarily the destination but the path we take to get there.
It Came From The Cabbage Patch
There is some debate out there about who’s responsible for what when it comes to keeping the relationship going; adoptees should be more considerate of their mothers, mothers should be more considerate of their children, it goes on and on. Both sides want the validation we seek and deserve.
You don’t have to be ashamed. Many people lost their children to adoption. It is not all your fault. Even if Korean society doesn’t understand that yet, the adoptees understand that. He doesn’t come to blame you. He comes simply because he wants his mother. That person is you. Of all the people in the world, only you can fill that hole in his heart.
Living, laughing, whining…as a Korean adoptee