Night people

We talked about the monsters within.  I don’t remember at what point or why we switched topics from what a relief the cool, evening breeze was after such a brutally hot day to our inner demons.  The time just before the sun disappears has become my favorite part of the day here in Texas.  I’d forgotten how hot it gets here.

When the sun starts to set, it’s difficult to tell whether it’s morning or evening.  For a moment, time seems to stand still.  The difference between the two being as the sun rises, my day is ending.  As it sets, I’m at my most active.  Josh and I are night people, you see.  We work (and play) at night and sleep during the day.

It was the only night off we had together, a night for monsters to come out and play.  It helps to let them out once in a while or else they get restless and try to escape.  The really nasty ones will even try to take over if they’re pent up too long.  Needless to say, it’s safer to let them out at night, when most of the population is indoors.  That way there are fewer witnesses to see just how strange night people can be.

I’m slowly coming to the conclusion that night people are a bit off just for being night people.  You have to be to work the night shift especially if you prefer it – which I do.  Though there does seem to be two kinds of night people.  There are those who are by circumstance and become odd as a result of adaptation and those who were already weird and desire the graveyard shift because of their nocturnal natures.

Josh seems to be of the latter group as well which is probably one of the reasons we get along so well.  The funny thing about Josh is that some would say he’s more scary during the day than he is a night.  I’ve often thought to ask him if that’s why he prefers the dark of night, but felt it might offend him.  Luckily, he’s not too easily offended or perhaps he just keeps it inside until it’s safe – like the night we decided to introduce our demons to one another.

I tease him when I can get away with it.  Such a big, ugly beast with hair that eats people. I know what others see, but I see something else.  He teases me, too.  The beautiful girl made of tiny. But I don’t feel beautiful.  I see myself the way others see him.

“If I were beautiful,” I once told him, “People would love me.  I’d be rich and happy.  Not here, working my ass off on some night shift job.  There must be something terribly wrong with me.”

He looked empathetic and sad for moment.  I saw recognition in the deepening blue of his eyes.  Demon meet Demon. Then he smiled, “…or with everyone else.”

And then I let the tears come.  It was night and only he would see.