I had a strange conversation with a friend of mine yesterday. I'd told her about all the cool adoptee blogs out there and that I'd decided to start one of my own. She asked me what I wrote about and I told her it was just a space for me to write down some of my experiences and feelings as an adoptee. Her and I had never talked about my adoption much. She had no idea about all the pent up emotions and baggage.
She asked me if this was common to which I replied, " Yeah, see? I'm not a lunatic." The subject turned to "angry adoptees" and my black humor set in. I told her maybe I should kick it up a notch lest people begin to see a limited picture of "happy Vietnamese and Chinese adoptees" as opposed to "angry Korean adoptees". Would it become like some kind of breeding thing where Korean adoptees were seen as pit-bulls and Vietnamese and Chinese adoptees were seen as lapdogs? Would adoptees be graded on their "disposition" as well as availability, ease of acquisition and cost?
I began to wonder if some aparents weren't having discussions within the safe confines of their yahoo groups of what "kind" of adoptee is the "best". I know it sounds extreme and paranoid, but after reading some of that China Doll blog, I don't take much for granted. Pretty much all that can be said has been said about that monstrosity and my two-cents wouldn't sound much different. Obviously, some aparents have no idea how hurtful their words can be or how badly they can reflect on them as people.
The China doll article (thanks DianaH from TTR comments) made me sick for all the obvious reasons, but knowing how newspapers edit and spin, I didn't let it reflect too much on the aparents. Out of curiosity I went to read the blog and didn't think it was all that bad until I got to this, "I hate to admit but at the height of my frustration, feverish myself, and with a sick baby I had to bite my tongue not to tell them all where to go. I am an experienced mom with 3 healthy kids and am really in no mood to take wives tale advice from a country that seems to think it is OK to throw away their little girls."
Is that what she's going to tell little "Anna", that she was a throw-away? Or will she have the privilege of reading it on her blog when she's older? I'm not going to talk about how condescending and arrogant that sounds, not to mention what it would say to "Anna" about the people from which she came. Broadbrushing an entire people is a no-no and it might shock her to someday realize, "Anna" just might begin to see herself as Chinese. *gasp I bet she'll be really grateful to know how much they suffered to save their poor, abandoned, China doll baby from her retched, backwards people.
*Okay, I take it back. A lot about the blog bothers me. I guess you'll just have to see for yourselves.